3-1 approaches: there are a few things i have come to realize, if not more.

we will never be where others want us, or doing what they want, or be able to make them [all] happy all the time.  the more we attempt to do so, the more we will lose ourselves and consequently the less happy (and more stressed) we will be.  Lucille Ball was quoted as saying “love yourself first and everything else falls into place.”  when we love ourselves first, only then will we be putting that energy out to be returned for us and to us.  we should be accepting of others, forgiving of their potential mistakes or wrongdoings..  simply let things be as they are -and accept that.  the less judgement we have of others and the way they live their [own] lives, the freer we will be to make sure we are doing what we want with our own.

the moment i find my mind wandering into possible judgement of the older woman with the weird tattoo on the back of her leg, or the mother who is teaching her young daughter that other people should bend over backwards to serve her, i catch myself: that woman may have gotten the tattoo in memory of a lost loved one, and the mother with her daughter is simply doing her best; i will never know the truth about them if i simply judge.  i myself have been judged (many call me weird.  weird! lol), but i have also learned that if you go about life with a truly open mind, it not only allows you to let go of the pressure that would potentially cause anger at someone, but it allows space for you to evaluate the most important person you should know: yourself.  when you create space between judgement of other people, their lives, their appearance, etc, you can truly get to know yourself better.  we are all on some kind of journey, and none of us are in any position to judge another..  once i clear my head of judgement, i find myself able to sincerely ask the woman about her tattoo, or to set an example of humanity and compassion to the mother and her young daughter simply by being genuine and kind to her, regardless of how i view her parenting style.

we will never know what another person is thinking.  the more we can love and accept ourselves, the more honestly and clearly we ourselves will be able to speak and communicate with others, which in turn will allow them to show their true side to you.  love can be found, lies uncovered, true intentions brought to light, even if the another attempts to hide it.  you will find those who respect you, support you, who truly love you, who want to see you smile and shine, as long as you are true to yourself.  –actually, they will find you.

i’d like to think that i am older and wiser, and perhaps i am, but there is still so much more to learn!  i know that in another couple of years (or less) i will look back much as i do now, and think “sheesh, i was so young and stupid,” so i am accepting the fact that while i may be wiser than i was when i turned 21, i still have quite a-ways to go in the wisdom division –giving myself credit where credit is due.

what matters most is loving yourself.  when we are strong and brave enough to love ourselves, the rest does actually fall into place.  it’s a very calm, serene place…  it opens a space that will allow the world to bring to you what you truly need (not necessarily only what you may want).  be gentle, be soft, be forgiving and loving of yourself, and always be able to laugh at yourself : )  it takes strength, courage, and tolerance.

try it for even just one moment: stop what you are doing.  take a deep breath, and let go.  What do you feel?

“It is great and beautiful, to be happy from the little things”  – Jeremias Gotthelf

time to ring in another good new year : )

ps – if “no one is perfect,” wouldn’t it also be true that we then are all perfect?..